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It still needs some editing work, but I’d like to know what you all think.  Also, please note that the compression I had to use makes the film look rather jerky and low quality:  it’s actually a film in very smooth 1080p.


11 responses to “A film I completed last semester: Tremblings

  1. rich

    1. staRRing. two R’s.
    2. shots of him walking, too much driving one way and he walks other way. get some where camera is still, he walks in one side of frame and out the other.
    3. at about 2 min. when he’s on the phone, camera slowly moves into cubicle. makes it feel like someone’s creeping up on him. assuming that’s not the effect you want.
    4. can’t understand line of dialogue just before “almost two years now”
    5. guy in red mumbles, talks too fast and soft, can’t understand him
    6. can’t understand what she says when he puts food in microwave. one word, must be important. speak up!
    7. he gets phone call, “what happened? shit!” but who called? did she call? i get the feeling she wouldn’t have called because she’s so introverted.
    8. 11 min. what are you establishing with the driving shots? the quiet? that works if that’s what you’re going for.
    9. last 2 1/2 min spent with him playing guitar. nice but what are we supposed to take from that? he’s a good guitarist? okay, but you don’t need to spend 17% of the film to show us that. unless there’s nothing else to do.
    10. i’m not clear what’s wrong with the girl. maybe because of low voice on dialogue.

    • Well, that’s slightly devistating. But I thought the conversation between him and his friend explained what the problem with the girl was? Perhaps then my main issue is keeping your attention during the parts with them playing the guitar. In other words, those scenes go on so long you hit the fast-forward button. o__O

      • rich

        i think it might have been because i just couldn’t hear it well. maybe that’s my computer’s fault, although i listen to a lot of music and radio stations through my computer with no trouble.

        sorry if something was devastating. i have to give feedback that i think is real for me – but i’m just one person.

    • Sorry bro. That was only supposed to be a bit of light hearted hyperbole. Your critique was quite good. I’ll check the old dBs in Final Cut.

      I’ve been figuring the scene where they play the guitar needs to be edited down… You see, the fellow in the red shirt is me! Ha.

      • rich

        i thought possibly so only because of the credits where it said “written and performed by” for that last song, but it wasn’t the same name as the main guy in the film.

        nothing to say “sorry bro” about. it’s the curse of typed text. all subtlety is lost.

    • But at the same time, if you can’t tell what happened to the girl that kinda shoots the whole film. Also, I’m not the good playing guitarist. I’m the overweight sweaty guy in red.

      • rich

        i’m guessing she’s “gone.” because she was holding him back from playing, and now he’s playing. but it’s not easily clear. maybe there could be a stool, like the one’s guitarists sit on while playing, but there’s a black and white picture of her on the stool as he’s playing.

    • Judging from what your saying I need to cut a significant amount of footage as well as make sure my levels are clear. Sometimes I have had people complain about the sound levels being to low before. But I kind of always figured that had to do with the fact the only people I’ve really shown it to were my friends at the local bar.

    • *Mental Note: Sundance isn’t held at Kelly’s Tavern.

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